even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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