I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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