it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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