Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Of course I have a pirate flag
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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