My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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