K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
