i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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