two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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