He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize