She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
