I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
