do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Randomize
