I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize