her vagine was all disorganized.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
