Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He uses pillows to masturbate.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
