I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
