Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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