i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
