Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
