Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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