Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize