whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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