I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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