I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize