My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
