I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
