Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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