I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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