the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
