If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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