woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
