letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
