yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize