Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
