just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
