you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
