last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
