remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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