she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
