We should be called the Road Head Warriors
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
