margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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