Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
