I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
