Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So many bounce houses so little time
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
