take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize