Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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