barbara walters just said penis...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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