Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I could fuck to npr.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
