Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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