I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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