My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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