How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
