she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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