Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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