He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
