question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
