we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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