what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
