White coat. Heels.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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