So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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