You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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