Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
